During my usual visit to the school, I met Trishna, who was sitting alone during recess, her face clouded with worry. She was struggling in her exams and the pressure was clearly taking a toll on her. I slowly went near her and we started talking. After some pushing and consoling words, she told me about her fear of failure and how it made her feel inadequate compared to her classmates. It’s not just about him, it’s about millions of students who go through similar emotions every year.
As teachers, one of our biggest challenges is to not only help students overcome poor academic performance but also bring richness in life. In my experience as a teacher, I have seen how different parenting approaches can support or hinder a child’s ability to thrive academically, especially when faced with setbacks.
While schools play an important role in shaping a child educational tripWe cannot ignore the significant impact parenting styles One is on student success. Poor academic performance is often the result of a variety of factors including emotional issues, learning difficulties or lack of motivation. However, the parent’s response to these challenges largely influences how the child understands and responds to setbacks in life. I have seen many students who once struggled academically thrive with the right parental support and guidance.
Child psychology identifies four main parenting styles – authoritative, authoritarian, permissive and neglectful – each having its own impact on a child’s development and academic performance.
Authoritative parenting: Often considered the “gold standard,” this style combines high expectations emotional supportParents who take this approach set clear boundaries while encouraging open communication, guiding their children without being overly controlling. Children raised in this environment generally develop stronger problem-solving skills and cope better with academic pressures.
Authoritarian parenting: In contrast, authoritarian parenting emphasizes strict discipline and high expectations but provides little emotional warmth. Although children under this style may excel in structured environments, they often struggle with creativity, initiative, and dealing with failure. Constant pressure to meet high standards without emotional support can lead to burnout or rebellion.
Permissive parenting: Permissive parents provide warmth but lack discipline, often failing to provide the structure needed academic successStudents raised in such environments may struggle with self-discipline, time management, and goal setting, which are important for getting ahead in school.
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Neglectful parenting: The most damaging style is neglectful parenting, which lacks both emotional support and discipline. In such settings, children are at greater risk of poor academic performance due to the lack of guidance and encouragement.
You are your child’s first teacher
From my experience, I have found that children excel when parents strike a balance between providing guidance and allowing autonomy. You are the first and closest teacher and friend they have met in their life. Therefore, it is as much your responsibility to help them move forward in life as it is the responsibility of the teachers and institutions. Here are some things we can do together:
Promote open communication: Encourage students to discuss their struggles without judgment. Parents should regularly ask their children about their school day and homework, creating an environment where issues can be addressed early.
Set realistic expectations: Setting academic goals is important, but they should be tailored to each child’s abilities. High expectations are beneficial, but they must be paired with achievable steps and guidance on how to reach them.
Promote independence: It’s tempting to take responsibility when a child is struggling, but developing problem-solving and self-regulation skills is essential for long-term success. Parents and teachers should provide guidance rather than solutions, helping children build confidence in their ability to overcome obstacles.
Provide emotional support: Failure is discouraging, but it should not define the child’s future. Teach children that mistakes are part of learning and provide emotional support to foster resilience and perseverance.
a collaborative effort
Academic success is a joint effort between school and home. Parents play an important role in shaping their child’s outlook towards learning and life. But most importantly, overcoming poor academic performance doesn’t just mean improving grades, but fostering a love of learning, resilience, and confidence. With the right balance of support, guidance, and accountability, every child has the potential to move from struggle to success.
If they learn to meet challenges with perseverance and the right attitude, it writes an important life lesson in their minds. That day, Trishna just needed a perspective shift, patient listening. In short, what I said to him was this: Who called it a failure? It taught you, Trishna, 99 other ways to deal with the same challenge.
(Author: Atreyi Sengupta, Principal, Ashoka Hall Girls School)
