My one-year-old beagle, Philly, keeps stealing socks, trying to eat horse dung during morning walks, and can be very stubborn in hot weather. But I’m glad it is The dog I chose to adopt six months ago, and I attribute this to a well of wisdom that deepens with age.
The dog I wanted was a newborn puppy, but when I went to sign the papers he peed on the floor, ran through the puddle, and started splashing in my lap.
As a young man, I would have thrown caution to the wind and taken him home, risking my marriage and carpet. But as a mature adult who looked like he had just wet his pants, I stopped the adoption process, and later found Philly, who was bigger than the first dog, and house trained, in a way.
I’m telling you this because as you get older you have to share a lot of bad news, and I’ve done a lot of that. But getting older isn’t bad. You’ve had a lifetime of foolish decisions and deep regrets to learn from, and you’re getting wiser.
Common sense isn’t the only benefit of aging. Just a few days ago, I asked my wife if she had any thoughts on the subject, and she immediately said two things. Alison said that as you get older, you care less and less about what other people think of you.
Couldn’t agree more.
And No. 2, Alison said, you’re overcome with fear of missing out, which some bluntly refer to as FOMO.
This is also true, but enough with the acronyms. And I am able to say this about FOMO because speaking your mind is another BOGO (benefits of being old).
By the way, I must admit that I totally stole the idea for this column, resorting to Oscar Wilde’s excuse that “imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.” Longevity Project publishes a highly entertaining weekly newspaper called “Three not so bad things about old age and longevity,” A collection of bits and bytes on medical achievements, personal accomplishments and other topics.
some examples:
This newsletter is affiliated with the Harvard School of Public Health Study The study looked at happiness and life satisfaction, meaning and purpose, and close social relationships. What were the findings? As the paper states: “The older you are, the better off you are, often by a considerable amount.”
Another installment explained that “living to 100 is becoming increasingly common — by mid-century, the United Nations estimates there will be 3.7 million centenarians living worldwide — and the idea of a healthy and active centenarian is gaining popularity. It is rapidly getting back to normal.”
Like so much news, there’s a flip side to the growing numbers in the Century Club, namely that Social Security checks may bounce and the number of annoying drug ads on TV may triple. But the Longevity Project, founded five years ago, Stanford Center on Longevity, It aims to highlight research and promote conversations that explore all the challenges and opportunities related to aging.
As for the newsletter, which launched 18 months ago, Longevity Project founder Ken Stern told me its purpose was to educate and entertain, and perhaps even inspire.
“The funniest stories are the ones where people do interesting things in their second and third chapters,” Stern said. Especially when they find meaningful work, rather than sitting around watching their nails turn yellow.
Stern gives an example, saying, The story of a retired man named Randy Yamada, The 70-year-old unofficial mayor of Hawaii’s Royal Kunia community, northwest of Honolulu, who is often shirtless, Yamada spends his days caring for neighbors, watering their yards and fixing broken things.
“It may not seem entirely fair — these people get a chance to stay in Kunia and live in their neighborhoods — but it’s a good deal all the way,” the newspaper commented. “Great for the neighbors, great for neighborhood spirit and good for the mayor,” who told the Island News that “taking care of your neighborhood makes it age well.”
One of the reasons this newsletter is so attractive to me is that my own mailbag is filled with examples of the “not so bad” things about aging. For example, Isolation has been called a public health epidemic among older adults, but I’ll soon be meeting Los Angeles Rabbi Laura Geller, who emailed me about a solution she’s working on. She’s partnered with a growing national movement known as a “virtual village” that pairs older adults together to care for one another and find purpose in community causes.
Geller launched ChaiVillageLA, Bringing together members from Temple Isaiah and Temple Emmanuel, and she’s using the same model to connect older adults in the San Fernando Valley and New York. There are dozens of such collaboratives in California, and you can find one in your area VillageMovementCalifornia.org.
Another bad thing about getting older is that birthday parties get better. This may be because younger family members fear that every birthday might be your last, but that’s not such a bad thing, even if you don’t have the lung capacity to blow out all those candles.
Carlos E. Cortes, The professor emeritus of history at UC Riverside wrote to tell me he recently turned 90, still teaches part-time, and walks three miles six days a week. He also sent a letter the column he wrote She wrote about her 90th party for the American Diversity Report.
“The older I get, the more I hate celebrating my birthday,” Cortés wrote, adding that he resisted his daughter’s attempts to throw him a party. She insisted, and the result was a year of planning for an epic celebration that included a book and movie about his life.
“Family has always been important to me. But what has meant most to me has been the wonderful 366 days (including leap years) of my 89th year in which I have had the best conversations with family and friends in many years,” Cortez wrote in his column. “So remember the date, April 6, 2034, when I will be 100.”
And here’s one last thing that isn’t so bad. It’s from the actor Dirk Blocker (“Brooklyn Nine-Nine,” etc.), whose father, Dan, played Hoss on “Bonanza.” Blocker emailed me about my column Maury Markoff After a lifetime of many adventures – machinist, equipment repairman, photographer, sculptor, writer – and finally dying at age 110, I asked him if he had any positive thoughts about aging.
Blocker sends a three.
First, softening: “Like the shedding of skin, the loss of certainty and perception of control has given way to reduced stress and increased my capacities for patience, empathy, and understanding.”
Second, it’s never too late: “I have time … for things I once considered luxuries … I’m playing the guitar and my fear of singing in public has disappeared, like, who cares what other people think?”
Third, you deserve it, so why not: “A nap. A simple but extremely satisfying post-lunch relaxation thing I happily indulge in.”
I like all three of them.
And now here’s homework for the rest of you:
In addition to senior citizen discounts, send me a nice thing or two about aging.
Make it three, and you can take a nap.
steve.lopez@latimes.com
