I remember him well: his toothy smile. His spiky shag haircut. His high cheekbones and tinkling laugh.
I even remember what I called that teenager. Bizarre. Angel. And even worse names.
We attended Anaheim High in the mid-1990s. I was a senior, he was a freshman. He was one of the few out students on a campus that was overwhelmingly Latino. He endured taunts, name-calling, and bullying, while often lashing out at his opponents with derogatory words.
It didn’t stop me or others.
I learned my homophobia from my masculine cousins and a father who was so opposed to homosexuality that when my classmate came over to our house for my sister’s party, my father forbade us from going to the pool, so we wouldn’t contract any disease. In my mind, homosexuals weren’t just something disgusting. “They” were a threat to the people I loved – Americans, Mexicans, Catholics, good people – simply by existing.
When my best friend Art asked me to overcome my prejudices, I spewed out a long list of Bible verses – Leviticus this, Genesis that, a ton of Paul verses. Nothing failed to convince me that I should stop my evilness, much less accept gay and lesbian people in general.
An HBO movie changed everything. We watched it in Mr. Elder’s biology class “And the band kept on playing,” based on Randy Shilts’ bestselling book About the early days of AIDS. I used to be repulsed by any hint of gay love. But the story – about how the Reagan administration and society at large allowed a terrible disease to spread as it first appeared in the gay community – disturbed me.
I thought homosexuality was horrible – but an uncaring government that allows people to die because of their identity is even worse. A few months later, I went to my classmate and apologized. I was sincere, but I will never forget the understandable doubt on his face.
Since then I have been trying to atone for my sins.
When my brother went to fourth grade I asked him to let me know when he and his friends played a game called Smear the Queer on the schoolyard. One person randomly picked up the label and everyone else threw a football at him. I knew it was no big deal. If My brother also joined in this When? – Because I was taught that game too.
One day, he came home excited and told me that he and his friends finally played the game Smear the Queer. I explained to him what the word meant and what the game represented, and made him vow to never participate in this game again.
Professionally, I criticized politicians and groups that try to deny LGBTQ+ people their rights and dignity. Today, I have close LGBTQ+ friends and I still have heated debates with loved ones about their hidden and overt homophobia.
However, I am an imperfect ally. I can’t erase the hurt I’ve caused before, so I remember those dark days to remind myself that I can always do better.
that’s why A recent survey conducted for The Times by NORC at the University of Chicago and paid for by the California Endowment The event gave me some hope about this country’s long, painful journey toward accepting LGBTQ+ people — and it was also an internal check on how much work still needs to be done.
Christians gathered to pray and protest against the inclusion of the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence in their Pride Night event at Dodger Stadium in 2023.
(Brian van der Brug/Los Angeles Times)
This survey was in a way a result of this. 1985 A pioneering project of The Times asked people what they thought about homosexuality. The difference between then and now is huge. At the time, 73% of people thought gay and lesbian relationships were wrong, which a Times story reported was virtually unchanged from a 1973 Gallup poll. This most recent poll? Only 28% felt that way.
In 1985, 51% of respondents believed there should be workplace protections for gay and lesbian people. Today, that number is 77%. The older survey showed that 35% were “uncomfortable with homosexuals.” This time, that question wasn’t asked.
The 1985 Times study was released without any photos or commentary. This time, we published our findings Persuasive Essay by me current And East LGBTQ+ ColleagueThe survey and essay were part of a project called “Our Strangest Century” which is live on our website and in print it will appear as Special Section 23 June,
These surveys show that beliefs change with time and experience. But today, while gays and lesbians are becoming more accepted, a new intolerance has emerged. The 1985 survey did not ask about transgender people. The Times/NORC survey did — and the results are disappointing.
More than a third said they would be very or somewhat upset if their child came out as gay or lesbian (in 1985, that figure was 89%). But that percentage rose to 48% if the child came out as trans or nonbinary. When it came to letting people “live their own lives,” only 19% “strongly or somewhat disagreed” if the person was gay or lesbian. Trans or nonbinary? 31%.
An even more significant question was whether the greater focus on trans and nonbinary people in the media and politics was good or bad. Only 16% thought it was good, while 40% thought it was bad (42% answered “neither”).
The survey shows, unsurprisingly, that politics and religion are related to people’s opinions on LGBTQ+ issues. But I also think lack of familiarity plays a big role. While 72% of American adults in the Times/NORC survey said they know someone who identifies as gay or lesbian, only 27% said the same about transgender or nonbinary people. When you come closer to Jesus with someone you’ve been taught to see as “different,” you quickly realize how foolish you’ve been.
For example: I, again.
A decade after his shameful act toward his classmate at Anaheim High School, I read a telling column by Times sportswriter Mike Penner that he would return from vacation as Christine Daniels.
“I am a transsexual sports writer,” Penner wrote“It has taken me over 40 years, millions of tears, and hundreds of hours of soul-wrenching therapy to muster the courage to write those words.”
I was so moved that I sent a letter of appreciation through a mutual friend. I was surprised and flattered that Daniel wanted to meet me to talk about dealing with sudden fame. I was at OC Weekly and The Times at the time featured me and my column, “¡Ask a Mexican!”That led to an avalanche of attention.
I was nervous, and not just about meeting an author whose work I had long admired. I didn’t know anyone who identified as transsexual and I worried I would offend Daniel by asking an inappropriate question or using the wrong name or pronouns.
Gregory Winfrey (left) and Benedicto Barnachea, a security guard at Allied Universal, hoist a Pride flag over the Kenneth Hahn Hall of Administration in downtown Los Angeles in 2023.
(Gary Coronado/Los Angeles Times)
Over a panini spot in Old Town Orange, Danielle quickly freed me of my minimal transphobia. I found myself focusing on the person in front of me: kind. Hilarious. Brilliant. Happy. At the Weekly, I continued to proudly criticize the freaks who mocked Danielle, until that sad day in 2009 when Mike Penner, who began using that byline at the Times, died by suicide,
Today, City councils reject calls to fly rainbow flags during pride month and School board bans books and curriculum that touch on anything LGBTQ+ related, as adults Drag Protest Time Story Hour In the name of protecting children Showering abuse on drag nuns Whereas Mocking the rise of “Latinx”, I remember my journey from disgust to humility.
I asked Bamby Salcedo, President and CEO of the TransLatin@ Coalition, about the best way to change closed hearts and minds.
He referred to diversity, equity, and inclusion, saying it’s “not about giving training or checking a DEI box”; it’s about having tough conversations from a place of love, “because hate cannot win.”
Salcedo said responding heartily to someone’s anti-LGBTQ+ attitudes can “plant a seed for change. And if you plant it, La Cosecha Sale (The harvest is coming).”
I remind myself that people can change — and those who have experienced walking the road to Damascus should urge others to follow our path.
The most avoidable sin is ignorance, and all sinners must repent. Understand this from one.
