Our choice is a candidate who is facing a sentence versus one who cannot even serve a single sentence

Happy Monday, everyone. So, today, jury selection has begun Hunter Biden’s gun test. And as a welcome gift, those selected were given a free dime bag. To make sure it’s a jury of their peers, they’re looking for people who were given fake jobs in Ukraine, smoked crack, did sex in a sensory deprivation tank, had sex with a dead family member’s wife, while impregnating a stripper. So far, they’ve found one. Potential witnesses include Beau Biden’s widow, Hallie Biden, Hunter Biden’s ex-wife Kathleen and a gun store clerk in Delaware. Or, as Hunter calls it, his dream quartet.

Over the weekend, President Biden was spotted cycling with Hunter in Delaware. It’s part of his new workout program “Not Dying.”

I had to work hard to get one from you. I wonder if they’ll like these. Mexico has officially elected its first female president. I know! Yeah, like you care. Oh, finally a woman. Oh, you go girl. Shut up. Her name is Claudia Sheinbaum. That’s right, Claudia Sheinbaum. Do you know Tijuana Sheinbaum? You should try their gefilte fish tacos. But what would be his first act as president? Get his daughter married to a doctor. Ha ha! I don’t care if you don’t like it. God, I’d be sad if I liked it.

Sheinbaum, a Mexican presidential candidate who has promised to reduce crime, faces strong challenges from powerful cartels

Today, during his testimony on the COVID response and origins in the US, Anthony Fauci said that claims of his influence on the CIA lab leak analysis are a conspiracy. And that makes him sound like Jason Bourne. But look, no one is confusing Fauci with Jason Bourne. One is a guy who murders people with the support of the government and the other is Matt Damon.

Over the weekend, pro-Hamas protesters clashed during a gay pride parade in Philadelphia. Despite their differences, they were both united in their love for suspicious packages. And the official Facebook page of the US Navy SEALs was mocked Marking the start of Pride Month. But in commemoration of the month, with every compound raid, a terrorist gets a free makeover. Okay, so the Donald J. Trump saga continues. Really? What did we talk about before that? Except me, of course. It’s a shame we only have an hour. But have you seen the reaction to Trump’s sentencing? It’s even more muted than my TV during Jesse’s show. Of course, there are the usual crazy cases where anything Trump-related causes incontinence.

Joy Behar: My reaction was that I was at Costco buying ten cans of Keurig coffee and my watch started ringing, and I got so excited that I started leaking a little bit from my mouth.

So Joy Behar wets herself at Costco. And for the first time, it wasn’t because of the free samples of chocolate-covered lard nuggets. But other than Joy and a few former actors, where is all the noise? No one is crying or peeing with joy while dancing in the street. The truth is, even some on the left recognize that this impeachment was not justice. Some recognize that they went too far even before the verdict. It’s like when you’re in a fight with your spouse and you hear a casual comment about his meatloaf and realize, oh ****, I’m in for this. And they’re right. The verdict resulted in a surge in Trump polling and a massive $200 million increase in donations. $200 million!!

Trump’s decision sparked enthusiasm among donors, leading to massive fundraising in May

$200 million? That’s more than I make in a year. It also crashed Trump’s donation site, something I haven’t seen since I started a GoFundMe page to get Brian Kilmeade banned from public parks. Buy a dog if you want to walk there. Within 24 hours, Trump’s new TikTok account gained more than 2 million followers, giving the Biden-Harris account a five-month lead. And to be fair, that’s a pretty low bar. Hell, even Hillary’s left testicle has more followers than Biden-Harris. But the stupid idiots on TikTok are a voting bloc Biden can’t afford to lose. What’s next? Biden starts losing ground among dementia patients? The truth is, Americans can tell the difference between Trump and Biden. One is dealing with punishment the other can’t dish out.

Berenson said he would vote for the Democratic nominee in 2024 rather than Donald Trump. (Photo: James Devaney/GC Images | Photo: Alex Wong/Getty Images)

So how does Trump do it? How does he turn a conviction into an electoral victory? How does he turn his opponents’ energy into power? I call it the eternal cliffhanger theory. With Trump, when one act ends, it leads to an equally exciting next act. He’s like an orange Harry Potter. And the people who create the cliffhangers are the ones obsessed with bringing them down. It’s a perpetual motion machine.

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His attacks can’t help but set the stage for: What will he do next? And then what he does is create yet another reason to attack. You think you killed him? No. He’s in the next chapter to a standing ovation.