A Reddit user who is unhappy with being invited to take his mom along out to lunch One etiquette expert told Fox News Digital that if a man is asked to split the bill equally with his sisters and their children, he should consider the occasion before putting himself in a potentially awkward situation.
Reddit user “tanats” recently shared her thoughts about family lunch outings in a post on the “Am I an idiot” advice forum.
The man said he was in his 20s, and said he had two older sisters, both in their 30s, who suggested inviting their mother over for lunch and “splitting the expenses into three parts.”
“They both have two kids each while I have none,” the man wrote.
When “Tenets” told her sisters she wasn’t keen on the idea, as on previous trips “the kids weren’t included in the bill, but still I will eat it,” he “didn’t like” it and accused her of being “confrontational.”
A man on Reddit (not pictured) was accused of “confrontational” behavior when he told his sisters (not pictured) that he didn’t think he should pay for their kids when splitting the bill during lunch. (iStock)
The man then said his mother found out and started taking his side.
“I want to give you some more context about why this bothers me: I had a similar experience before when I had to pay a third of all expenses for a family outing” during a trip that involved a Sister’s husband and her children“taenuts” wrote.
“(One sister) thought my mother and I were unaware of the whole matter, but my mother begged me not to say anything (and) not to fight, but now I feel I have kept quiet for too long.”
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“Tenets” asked others on the forum if it was wrong that “he wants the bill to be split differently when I don’t have kids and I’m only paying for mine and my mother’s share.”
Florida-based etiquette expert Jacqueline Whitmore told Fox News Digital that it’s common for adult siblings to split the cost of meals for parents, if it’s necessary. A Special Occasion Like Mother’s Day, as that person on Reddit mentioned.
“It can be divided equally among the three siblings,” he said. “Siblings who have children should bear the expenses of their families themselves, as there are more people involved.”
“Siblings who have children should take care of their own family expenses, because there are other people involved,” said one etiquette expert (not pictured). (iStock)
Whitmore suggested that another reasonable approach would be to “consider who ordered what.”
He said, “Since your brothers and sisters are bringing their children along, it is only fair that they bear the cost of their children’s meals themselves.”
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“As an alternative, you could suggest footing your bill and your mother’s bill in full,” Whitmore said.
The person is not forced to join any group that is not suitable for him.
“The siblings will divide the remainder of the bill (including the cost of their children’s meals) equally among the adults or on the basis of separate orders. The fact that you paid for your mother’s meals should be sufficient grounds to require that you pay for your children’s meals.” keep calm,
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Several Reddit users suggested that the “Taunts” should consider having meals without their sisters in the future.
“You’re not (stupid), but you need to stop eating and travelling with them,” user “EmceeSuzy” wrote.
“Take your mom to a special brunch or a painting class or some other nice event… If she doesn’t agree to go out with you alone, that’s her choice. That doesn’t force you to join a group that isn’t a good fit for you.”
Several Reddit users said that if the man’s sisters can’t understand his concerns, he should reconsider going out to eat with them in the future. (iStock)
Reddit user “one-employee9235” suggested a more aggressive approach.
“I’m practical and frugal, so I’ll carry cash with me and only pay for what I order, plus a third of mom’s meal,” the commenter wrote.
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“Then kiss mom and leave. Others have suggested taking mom out alone. That solves the immediate problem, but it doesn’t solve the bigger problem – why the whole family, including mom, keeps taking advantage of her.”
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Fox News Digital has reached out to “TeenUts” for additional comment.
Whitmore said it’s always a good idea to discuss a bill beforehand.
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“You could say something like, ‘Can we all pay for mom’s meal and then pay for our own families’ meals?’ If this proposal is not acceptable to everyone, take the mother out alone to avoid any uncomfortable confrontations,” he suggests.
