A young widow who is now committed to marriage should not feel obliged to give a memento made from her late husband’s wedding ring to her sister, Reddit users and an etiquette expert said.
“I’m ashamed for not giving my ex-sister-in-law the necklace I made from our wedding rings.” Deceased husband?” This question was asked by Reddit user “SleeplessYellowSun” in a post on the “Am I the A-hole” (AITA) subreddit on June 18.
In the post, the woman said she is 27 years old and married her high school boyfriend when she was 22.
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But just five months after their marriage, her husband was tragically killed by a drunk driver.
The woman said after his death she had their wedding rings melted down to make a necklace and a set of earrings – she said she didn’t want the rings to sit in a drawer forever.
One Reddit user revealed that after her husband was killed by a drunk driver, she melted down their wedding rings to make a necklace and earrings from them. (iStock)
SleeplessYellowSun said she keeps the earrings in her jewelry box and wears the necklace every day.
“One, because I like the look of it and two, because I like the idea of having a tangible part of it with me forever,” he wrote.
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However, recently the woman revealed that her boyfriend of almost two years proposed to her – which SleeplessYellowSun accepted.
“I stay in touch with my Ex (Sister-in-law) (29F), who we’ll call Ava, and last weekend she invited me out for drinks. We chatted for a bit before she congratulated me on my engagement,” SleeplessYellowSun said.
The woman wrote that Ava then asked her for her necklace — “because it would have meant more to her as his (late husband’s) sister, and not to me since I’m now remarried and moving on.”
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“It really shocked me that anyone would ask for something like that outright,” SleeplessYellowSun wrote.
He also said that Ava had many of her husband’s belongings and clothes.
SleeplessYellowSun didn’t respond to Ava – but instead said she’d think about giving the necklace to her.
“She thinks I should probably give this gift to Ava because it will mean more to her, and that I should just give up everything from my old life and embrace my new one.”
Meanwhile, SleeplessYellowSun’s best friend agreed to Ava’s request, saying “it seemed odd to me that I was still so attached to it given its history and my new engagement,” the woman wrote in her post.
“She thinks that I Maybe give it to Ava Because it means more to her, and I should give up everything from my old life and embrace my new life. She said I should get a new necklace and make new memories, and said she would go with me or I could ask my fiancée.”
The young widow revealed she recently became engaged to her boyfriend of nearly two years — and she has no objection to him keeping and wearing the necklace made from the wedding rings she and her late husband shared. (iStock)
This didn’t seem right to him either.
SleeplessYellowSun said she is “absolutely happy” in her new relationship and is excited about the life she will have with her husband. future husband“I will always have love for my ex-husband and I will always grieve for him and the life we could have had together, and I don’t think that will detract from my new relationship,” she said.
“They are different loves and lives.”
He further added, “But now I feel silly that I put it all together in a necklace.”
“I feel silly that I put all of this together in a necklace.”
“My fiancé says he doesn’t care, and that he knows I love him and our life, and understands I will always have some level of grief, and he likes how I have and continue to love, and how I approach life and people because of my experiences,” SleeplessYellowSun wrote.
The woman (not pictured) asked others on Reddit about her situation and said she didn’t know if she was being foolish by wanting to keep the necklace. (iStock)
“So what about AITA,” she asked others on the social media platform, “that she didn’t give my necklace to my ex-sister-in-law?”
The response comes
In over 1,300 reactions to the post, most Reddit users said the woman’s wish wasn’t wrong. keep the necklace Despite his new engagement.
An etiquette expert told Fox News Digital that neither SleeplessYellowSun nor Ava were actually in the wrong for their actions.
“We all have the right to say ‘no,’ regardless of what other people think.”
“The sister can ask for whatever she wants; however, she should not expect to get it,” California-based expert Rosalinda Randall told Fox News Digital in an email.
“Especially since according to this story she’s already been given several of her brother’s items.”
Randall also said, “Asking for something is not a sin or a crime. We all have the right to say ‘no,’ no matter what other people think.”
Reactions from Reddit users were less clear.
Randall said that in circumstances involving death, “no one can dictate when or whether we should release an item.” “In this case, no one is wrong.”
He said perhaps Ava felt she was “trying to be sensitive and considerate of her new husband’s feelings” – and was trying to keep the jewellery in the family.
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Randall also said, “If (SleeplessYellowson) feels like he still has feelings about this, he should come out and speak about it.”
“Tell Sali that he appreciates her interest and understands why she wants it, but he wants to keep it to himself to always remember that special moment in his life. Who could disagree with that?”
The reaction from Reddit users wasn’t so subtle – they said Ava was wrong to even think about asking for the necklace.
Users on the social media platform were horrified that someone could ask a widow for a memento of her late husband, regardless of her current marital status. (iStock)
“You’re not (wrong). The necklace is yours, and it’s completely inappropriate for your ex-sister-in-law to demand it,” Reddit user “dittoheadforever” said in the post’s top reply.
The same commenter added, “I don’t see anything wrong with keeping a memento of someone who helped make you who you are.”
“Wildly “This is inappropriate,” Reddit user “Grapegatsby23” wrote in another top comment.
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The user further added, “I can’t even imagine asking someone for a souvenir jewellery.” which he had specially made for himself.
In an update to the post, SleeplessYellowSun wrote that she has decided to keep the necklace. She defended both her best friend and her former sister-in-law.
“I’m going to give (Ava) the benefit of the doubt at first, but if she insists on bringing this up, I’ll have some choices to make,” SleeplessYellowSun wrote. “I’m not sure yet how I’ll word this or if I’ll say it via text or in person. But I’ll figure it out.”
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“Grief is really weird and hard and you don’t really understand it until it happens to you,” she said.
Fox News Digital has reached out to SleeplessYellowSun for additional comment.
